in New York, about two months ago. i had a glass of wine in my hand and my first love next to me. i’m not doing either anymore. alot has changed. life is a touch less exciting without wine. the other day i was on the train listening to this really good song on my ipod, and i was thinking about dancing and what a bad dancer i am and how i used to think i was a good dancer. then i got embarrassed thinking about that. then i was thinking it’s such a good song that i wanted every special person in my life to be in the same room dancing with me to this song and how i would bring so many people together and everyone would be smiling and dancing and laughing and the music would be really loud and then i thought the only place that this is feasible is at my wedding reception so i started fantasizing about all of my friends and family in one room and myself dancing to this great song and having this amazing moment and everyone  was dolled up and fancy and i looked awesome in my dress and then i got all bummed out because i realized i wouldn’t have a drink in my hand and everyone else would be drunk having a good time. i literally got depressed, on the train listening to that song in this thought. the fact that i couldn’t drink at my own wedding bummed me out more than the fact that i don’t have anyone to marry.