once i got really drunk at Crobar in chicago, a long time ago, and ended up making out with a guy i had a crush on. he had a huge beard and wore sunglasses at night. he had the Jesus appeal, and i was really into that. kind of still am. anyway, i got really drunk and we were making out in VIP and then we’re back at his place and i’m so drunk that i don’t remember what happened in between. and i don’t remember much after. i wake up the next morning, in his bed and it was a beautiful day. the sun was shining and the birds were chirping and i’m just really fucking confused because i don’t know this bedroom and am most likely still drunk. i drank a lot of whiskey back then. i am completely naked from the waist down but am still in my bra, tank top, sweater, and jacket. my hat was on the pillowcase next to my head so i must have fallen asleep with it on and it shifted off my head during sleep movement. and i am alone in the bed. so i get up and walk around the apartment and find jesus on the couch in the living room waking up. and i ask what happened and why he isn’t in bed with me and why i have my coat on but not my pants. and he, in a very perky voice, tells me all about how i got up in the middle of the night after passing out stood next to his bed spread my legs grabbed on to a shelf and pissed myself standing. he woke up mid pee and just let me finish then helped me out of my wet pants and panties and boots and socks. i didn’t believe him. so he, with perky stride, brought me to the bedroom in front of my puddle of piss with my wet clothes and shoes in the center of it. i’d say the worst part of this experience was cleaning up my own piss with some paper towels from his kitchen.
i did this once again a while later, except i decided to use the guy’s love seat in his living room. different guy. kind of the same jesus look though. i’m glad i stopped drinking whiskey.
he had peppermint, and i had earl grey with hints of vanilla.